by Scot Richardson |
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“Reality TV: Just a thought…”
Decorating a house is not a show.
Neither is eating pieces of corn out of horseshit for money.
So why do we all watch reality TV? And why do we even call it reality?
What reality do you know where you get a CEO job for bungee jumping off a hot
air balloon? Or where families swap wives for a week? But somehow these shows
get the highest rating of anything on TV right now cause their “real.” Look,
I’ll be the first to admit that a few of the shows are pretty good, but
the bad ones ruin the genre altogether. Instead of being interested in a handful
of good reality shows because they’re different than anything else out
there, I want to puke in a bag and eat it every time I see a new one. But then
I usually realize that Joe Rogan won’t give me a prize for that unless
I’m on TV, so instead I just end up shouting a soothing phrase at the
television like “Fuck you Reality TV” or “I’m going
to hire a hitman to kill you Trump, you son of a bitch.” My therapist
says that I’m making significant progress! But here is my point…There are now 337 reality shows on television.
337! The fact is that reality shows are cheaper for networks to make because
they don’t require sets, writers, actors, or generally any talented people.
All they need is a house that needs to be renovated, a billionaire who will
jump out of planes, or a midget who wants $20,000 worth of plastic surgery.
And what kind of message are these shows sending? Between “The Swan” and “The
Biggest Loser” the only message I can find is that if you’re ugly
you better fix it. And where do they have to go from here? If we keep this
up, reality shows in 2020 will have to execute you if you can’t eat larva
while walking on a trapeze and choosing your future wife.
Who knows, maybe I’m being too harsh. After all, reality TV has given
us, uh, Clay Aiken? So ask yourself if you’re okay having your television
dominated by 12 fat people on a treadmill for 40 minutes instead of being introduced
to the next Jennifer Aniston, Seinfeld, Daily Show, Sex in the City, Sopranos,
or Ali G. Cause if you want it to change, there’s only one thing to do.
Stop watching.
I know that sounds crazy, but just think, we could make a show about it. “Who
Wants to Not Watch Reality Shows?” the new hit reality show on Fox.
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